I went to bacbacan 2 and to the supporting arms of my support group (wow redundant) to the max. There was jeff, lots, raul, moccx, abby T, dg and everyone else. Siyempre na-miss ko to death ang PG society, but things never turn out the way you always want them to-- they had to work. Not everyone is a call center girla like me.
Yesterday, after a crying fit in the car, I arrived at salt of the sea.. (tama ba???!).. and un-burdened(???) myself to them about my love problems. There was a torrent of advice coming from well-meaning friends. But I had to face it! I was in such a deep rut that the only way that I could get out of this heartsickness would be if I got over him, or if i get over him.
Wow. Many choices no?
Well, sometime after we left BACBACAN and Abby Tababa went to internship class, we were in OZ cafe (which I just have to say---I miss terribly!!!), I found got for myself a semi-permanent closure on the whole do I love him and does he like me issue.
I texted him :
"hi ****, joko to. musta? Jst want 2 b honest with u, wat hapnd lst friday did get to me somehow. Wla lng, i jst wntd u 2 knw dat.& dat, i apprec8 dat we're getting along these past few days. I hope u feel the same way."
Ok first of all, halos tumae na ako bago ko matext yang message na yan. I was sooo sick with cough and matching dripping sipon after my crying in the car fits, so I was really.. i mean really feeling (this is an understatement) wretched. My upper lip felt like a scotch brite scrubbed it clean. It hurt that much. I just smoked to make it dry up. Don't ask why it does, it just does it.
ok. so jeff helped me compose the message which i honestly say is brilliant, because:
1. it will give me closure
2. i will stop wondering
3. i will stop hoping
4. i will stop crying
5. and most of all, it will stop me from whining and making my friends all annoyed at me.
so exactly, as i was putting sugar to my tea, my cellfone went tuning Ken Zhu's show me your love.... A message had arrived!!! WAit!!! two messages!!!
My thought was.. "wow mahaba.. maybe he cares" (ok. i was hoping that much)
When i opened my message it read:
"Ure a nice person..im taking a rest.im not feelimg wel.i hav cough,"
Ok. that was typed VERBATIM. Ok. WAs i hurt?
MAJORLY.
Was i sad the whole way home?
YUP.
Did I want to cry?
yeah.
Did I cry?
NO.
haha. Remember my whole entry on pride and love? WEll, pride has once again triumphed over love. Hay.
When will i ever truly love?
Malay.
Ok. I woke up, slightly sick.. ok very sick, as I went to work at 2AM in the morning. TOday was the day wherein we would make calls. WOW!
I didn't mope around because:
1. i was too sick to care
2. i was too scared of calling americans to care
3. i was too preoccupied with module...
SO, I went to work. He talked to me, called me, and talked to me. Asked me stuff.. etc.. etc.. Let's just say, he was trying to be friendly. Of course, dahil feeling ako.. feeling ko nagpapacute siya. WEll, you know naman how delusional i can be, so let's not put too much weight on what i'm saying here...
hehehe...
ok. We are part of a single team. The TL picked people out of the group.. and this guy and me were on the same team.
I think he's trying really hard to act normal. I feel so liberated because, I know in my heart that I like him. But I guess, the whole lovesick thing is not really my style. My uber big bilib sa sarili has reasserted itself and now i'm feeling really really pretty.
Ok. I flirted with a cute guy.. not my love ko na yata ito guy.. but someone else. But, I just realized that if you act like you don't care.. the more they like you... ?
Siguro that's why rhoda is so irresistable to guys.. hehe.. kasi she doesn't care about trampled hearts.. (o ayan.. ha.. tinutulungan ko na yung isa dyan)..
Not that i'm trampling hearts or anything.. but i do know i got a killer smile. So i was a smiling freak the whole day.. hehe.. even when americans were telling me to fuck off.. hehe.. very funny. .
honestly, i don't know how tommorow will turn out. I didn't get a sale today, i hope i get one tomorrow.. or else i'll be feeling very low. I gotta study the packages and be the best damn telemarketer that I can be..
I don't know how the whole this could be the guy could work out. One thing is for sure, I found out more things about him today.. which i can tell you during at that time, did make me look at him differently.
he isn't that rich, and he has sungki in his teeth. Pardon me for being superficial.. but hey I am!
But thinking about it, i don't care about how much money he makes, or how sungki his teeth is. As i said, I'm willing to go to Jollibee with him anyday.
While i'm typing this, the song "too beautiful for words" is playing on the background. I just have to smile, I'm feeling too beautiful for words right now.
I have a love interest!
Is he interested in me?
I dunno.
DO i care?
No.
He'll like me in the end. I know this. Unless of course, I decide we're better off as friends.
hmm.. maybe the reason, he doesn't want a gf would be because he's a little financially depleted...
well either way.. tommorow is another day.. right?
TOODLES!
Pray that I make 4 sales!!!!
Please???